Its been awhile...

Well, it has been an interesting few weeks, I can say that... To be completely honest, I think I'm still in denial about what's been happening, like it hasn't sunk in yet. I haven't slept in bed yet; I've been sleeping on the couch. My joints are really starting to feel it too. I haven't cried since right after Matt's bus left. I would hate to be within 10 miles when that storm hits! A friend told me that once he leaves the country it will show itself.
Today wasn't a good day. I had a migraine most of the day and just wanted to lay down, which I couldn't do, which in turn made me really snappy with my poor kiddos. I thought I might cry today, but it didn't happen. I think I'm just too tired, if that makes sense. I just couldn't get motivated to do anything. My house is a disaster, the kids need laundry done, I don't think I have a clean spoon in the kitchen, and with the way I barked at my poor kids all day I'm out of the running for Mother Of The Year.

On the positive side, I'm back in the gym! I went 5 days last week, and the only reason I didn't go on Saturday was because I forgot to make an appointment for the kids in the Daycare Center, and I learned when I called to make an appointment for around 5 that evening they told me that they no longer have Daycare available on Saturday evenings. Mental Note: If I'm going to go to the gym on Saturday I have to be there by 10am or find an outside sitter!

Another great thing, I'm exploring the idea of flying to Louisiana to meet Matt for his last 4 day pass! He would meet me in New Orleans, which is about 100 miles from Camp Shelby. He would probably rent a car there in Hattiesburg so we could get around in New Orleans, not to mention actually get him there to pick me up at the airport! (Side note: Why do people use the phrase "not to mention"? You always "mention" when you say that!) Anyway, I tried to find a flight into Mississippi, but it really jacked the rates up. I would already have to change planes in Denver. The awesome part is that we can totally pull it off! God has blessed us with an income to be able to do this for ourselves. It would only be me going, I think it would be too hard for the kids, especially Michael, to say goodbye to Daddy again. Plus, to be blatantly and a little cruelly honest, I really want to be selfish with this time with Matt. Is that wrong?

Michael's been having a hard time since Matt left. He's been waking up in the middle of the night and coming to sleep with me. I've been really bad about not putting him back in bed... I try to put him back, but by the third time he comes out of his room I'm just too tired to get up again. And tonight he wet the bed. I've been really lucky in that he's never wet the bed since getting rid of the pull-ups at night. He went right back to sleep once I changed the sheets on his bed though. Thank goodness I was still awake, it would have really sucked to have to change his bed half asleep.

I've had a lot of great support in these last few months, so I want to thank every one who's been there for us. Both sides of our family for letting us visit, Julie and Kerry for the fun dates that we've gone on (and your husbands who braved watching all of our kids), Kerry and Heather for babysitting for me, especially when its been at the last minute. And I can't even begin to express how much your prayers have meant to us. Its the most powerful tool we have, and we've really felt it; so thank you.

Ok, I think I'm tapped for topics, so I'm going to wrap up this blog. Thanks for letting me ramble!